yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
They are going to name an STD after you.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
