When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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