somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
