It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
