i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Blood and glitter go together right?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
