he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Everything about him screamed your future.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize