Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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