i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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