I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
that is very illegal...i love you.
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