I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
