Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I smell stomach acid.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
There's always time for handjobs
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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