He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I think I died a long time ago.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
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