how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
