Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
