watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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