my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
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