Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
