He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
