Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
