I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
