did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
