just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
