we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
