I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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