I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
