let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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