This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
