She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
