WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
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