I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Randomize
