told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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