It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
