Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
