Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
