ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
