wat bout pragnant strippers??
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
