1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
