We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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