So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
