we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
