my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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