the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
