We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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