its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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