i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
