So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
