Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
