You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
only you would photoshop your dick
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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