three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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