i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
