i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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