Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
