He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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