I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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