he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Randomize
