i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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