He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
