Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
