I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
