I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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