Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
